Define "chronic" masturbator.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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