Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
