He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
