Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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