Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
