Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
