The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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