He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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