Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
