Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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