Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
