I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
