My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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