Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
