based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
