please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
