I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
