If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize