Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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