Betty ford says i'm here all night
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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