So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
What a dumb baby whore.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
