I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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