Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
