"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
