We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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