I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
