that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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