So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
