I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
