i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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