Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
