Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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