I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
