the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
