I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
