Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
