party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
