theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
