There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
