Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
