we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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