Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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