i was rollin on her like bob the builder
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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