just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
