Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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