That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My dick has a subreddit
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
