K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
