Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
