You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
