Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
