Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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