420 ftw
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
